PANAMA CITY BREAKERS

[Talon]

Team Information
City: Panama City, Florida
Conference:  East
Team Owner:  Jax Rummy
Team Secretary: TBD


Team History:
S1: Panama City Breakers 40-41 (3rd)
S2: Panama City Breakers 40-41 (2nd)
S3: Panama City Breakers 33-48 (4th)
S4: Panama City Breakers 46-35 (1st)
S5: Panama City Breakers 28-53 (5th)
S6: Panama City Breakers 44-37 (2nd)
S7: Panama City Breakers 40-41 (3rd)
S8: Panama City Breakers 47-34 (2nd)
S9: Panama City Breakers 50-31 (1st)
S10: Panama City Breakers 48-33 (1st)
S11: Panama City Breakers 18-63 (5th)

Playoff Appearances:
S2: 2013 Champions
S4: 2015 1st Round
S6: 2017 1st Round
S8: 2019 Championship
S9: 2020 Championship
S10: 2021 Championship



RETIRED NUMBERS:
None




"Oh my little dove, where do I begin....No seriously, where do I begin, I'm nearly half way done with my rum, care for a sip, I mean, isn't happy hour any time. [SIPS] Listen chap, the thing to do is enjoy the ride while you're on it. SO I SAY, DRINK UP. Time to make money with all the spring Breakers that come through our town, but to make money we need a watchable product, makes sense. I'm sure it does to someone! I'm here for what ever you need. Like the waves of the bearing sea we have had are ups and downs, more ups as of late so if we can just stay above the tide and conquer the great sea, that would be lovely. We have the greatest player WBS has ever seen but we need to crown him king before he makes his humbled exit, I would be over the moon! to see him win more more chap, we pretty much ruled these seven sea's for a large part of our existence so Don't SINK US! but most importantly don't drown" [SIPS] - Jax Rummy

[GM Justin]

Finishing second sucks walrus nuts.  The Panama Prince is here to be your savior.

[GM Lucas]

"Thankfully [SIPS] 2nd place is a place we are familiar with these days, but Walrus testicles, yes, those, we are not familiar with in these parts, are you familiar with said walrus testicles my friend.? [SIPS]"

[GM Justin]

They were fried...it was a drunken bet...I'd rather get married again before eating them.  I'll just say that.

[GM Lucas]

"BLIMEY!,[SIPS] seems like we have the right man, only thing is, I have no idea who this man in front of me is. I'll start, maybe it will help you to start, My name is Jax Rummy, I'm sure you've heard of me or you wouldn't be standing in front of me telling about your food fetishes, aye. Things is, my name isn't nearly as important as who you are, and,.......who are you? And who crowned you the Prince of MY CITY?

[Passes you a glass of rum]

[GM Justin]

I am GM Justin...former FBL champion with the Puerto Rico Waves and a PBL champion with the Indianapolis Aeros. I have proven myself to be a championship winning GM and if you look at my draft record in the HIFL I know how to spot talent. Basketball is my sport and I know that my abilities will create this franchise into a dynasty.

[GM Lucas]

"Sip my good man, because we live in the championship rounds, so now here's to you [Raises Glass] To doing something to get us back and everything to help us win it all." [Cheers]

Now, the good young lady, Ms Ava Swann will handle all your business. TO TITLE TOWN WE GO!

[Jax stumbles out his office and immediately comes back in]

"This is my office is it now, you sir, go see Ms Swann"

[GM Lucas]

[Ave pulls out a card and starts reading]

"Ah-Hoy, Welcome to Panama City GM Justin, your journey awaits you. I hope you will find your time here as exciting as an adventure to find Davey Jones Locker....this is dumb. Do I have to keep reading from this Card Justin or can I just be normal?"

[GM Justin]

Please do...I give two shits about the warm fuzzy welcome. All I care about is winning

[GM Lucas]

"Fuckin Aye, great. no more wearing stupid costumes around here. Ok, here's your team sheet. You'll get FA sheet once we know what the hell our new leader over at the commissioners office is deciding on with this Cap situation. Right now we have all our starters, so that's a good thing. Berry is probably one of the best players in the league. He's with us on a pretty great deal because he loves the college atmosphere around here. Don't mess that up. The president of the players union is also on our team, Richard Karcher so, piss off players and you'll have him on your case. You $7,648,419 million left in cap but that's going to go up, hopefully, but again we have all our starters signed. Mr Rummy has a hard on for bringing in another big time player, he's tired of making the championship without winning, so you may want to think about bringing in another top level player, he's written some name downs behind your team sheet, Oh yeah, We also have all our coaches"

[GM Lucas]

"So I know you already heard, we are ready to hit the open sea's, dammit Sorry, bad habits, I've been reading off these cards for so long. ok, look, real simple, like real simple. Rules are in this folder. Email me the players you want(DM) and ask questions. I think we gonna get along great, RIGH?!, anyways. Get started"

[GM Lucas]

"Um, Sir, GM Justin, I must apologize, I gave you a sheet without the player grades. I'm really sorry, please don't tell Mr Rummy. I really need this job to finish paying off my tuition"

[GM Lucas]

"Lady Swann, has GM Justin come back, the chapp is yet to go into his office?"

" Not at all Mr. Rummy, he grabbed his file and walked out. I'm hoping he comes back sooner than later to talk about the players he wants information on"

[GM Justin]

I'm here..I'm here. Working on this as we speak

[GM Lucas]

"Excellent draft there Justin, Can I call you Justin or are you one of those call me GM type guys, anyway, League deadline for early free agent offers is this Wednesday,  October 12th, 11:59 EST. Along with that, you have to tell me who you want to send to Summer camp. They have to be either a rookie or a 1st year player. Look at your roster sheet that I sent you and let me know by Friday October 14th. 11L59 EST. WE are doing well, let's keep it going"

[GM Lucas]

"Lady Swann, contact boy wonder and ask him if he plans on doing anything for this team. I mean, I hired the lad too, I don't know, sign some players, talk to some agents, run a team perhaps"

"Will Do sir, I text him a few days ago, he told me he would be in the office. I'll text him again"

"Texting aye, why don't we do it the way we did back in my day, and, just...perhaps pick up a phone, dial a number. Keep doing that until he answers, thank you my dear"

GOT IT!

[GM Lucas]

"Maybe we don't need the scallywag's. Seems like I can do his job drunk, I hated losing to those bastards up north but beating a team like black rock was huge. Maybe we don't need GM Justin, maybe all we need is more RUM! "

"Let's give him a chance. You set a deadline, let's sit tight. I'll keep his team sheet on his desk"

"I hope you know how to GM, there's a raise in it for you"

[GM Lucas]

"So the scoundrel hasn't shown up. I thought maybe he would swing in and talk to the media"

"He hasn't shown up. I sent at least 6 messages, text and emails. I hate to say this but maybe it's time to move on"

[GM Lucas]

"Lady Swann, I just had a very important and unfortunate conversation with captain Justin, it seems the land lover got himself in a bit of a tally and will not be able to continue business here. The job is yours, raise and all, your job until further notice, that's if you want it, I have to think this will pay off your entire tuition and look great on a resume"

"I mean, are you sure?"

"Absolutely, now and go and see if Anderson and Jefferson will sign back on"

"Jefferson is ready but I think Anderson is going to sign on with Russia"

"So be it then, now lets get ready, adventure awaits us"

[GM Lucas]

(pours himself a glass of rum}

"Oh dear, My sweet Ava Swann, I must commend you on a subpar job you have done sinking our ship and yet managing not to visit Davey's Jones locker"

"Wait, What...you told me to put this team in a better position. Like a good GM I got us great position in the draft with tons of cap space. What the hell you are talking about, Davey jones Locker"

"If only (Sips) I'd had seen that fire throughout the season. Listen my dear, (Sips) You forced our greatest player of all time into retirement, you traded away a top 5 player in the league just so we could start over. That's not winning, quite the opposite I might add. That's losing

"I know what the hell opposite means, and yes, we have to lose now in order to win later."

"I'm not quite sure I'm catching on, no quite sure I care to either. look My sweet Sweet Swann. I will allow you to stay on board and once again answer phones or get coffee or do whatever it you were doing before, I so desperately handed you the sails to this ship"

"You son of a......You know what, I don't need this job anymore. I hope whatever idiot you bring in leaves you hanging like the other idiot did. And stop drinking that awful rum, you are an embarrassment to the league. And change your clothes you look ridiculous. "

"Ok, now you're just being mean, (Sips)  take that back. This rum is delicious"

(Ava Swann storms out the office leaving Jack Rummy to have to find a new PR)

"Oh boy, I think the new lad is arriving soon, what ever will I do? (Sips)"

(Jack rummy looks around and staggers about the office as he drops back into a seat and keeps drinking)

[GM Fosters]

Hey there, I'm Bruce Fosters... was that the teams secretary I just passed on her way out? She looked maddddd, that Sheila was chuntering away to herself about "Men" and how "Rum turns even the most respectable of men into absolute swines..."

Anyhoooo lovely to meet you Mr Jack Rummy! Sorry... Captain... Jack Rummy!

[GM Lucas]

(Jaxx Rummy stands, barely and extends his hand swaying side to side)

"Uh hoy good chap, You said she said what about rum? It turns a man to swine, hogwash, the only thing I ever seen rum turn a man to was a real ugly lady, if you get my drift (He smirks and then realizes what he said and shakes his head to refocus as much as he could)....would you like a Clap of Thunder?

[GM Fosters]

I've not exactly had good experiences of thunder... per se... but if it was a toddy of rum you were offering me, I wouldn't be one to turn it down... Savvy?

[GM Lucas]

"Well, well...Avast ye! (POURS GM FOSTERS A DRINK) First things first. I've called a few folks I think would make lovely people who sit there and answers phones (SIPS) The last person thought she was in charge and nearly turned us to coral I might add. I'll send them in when they get here. For now, we seemed to have acquired quite of bit of draft debloom. I want us to stay afloat and be competitive so please, bring in a player who won't capsize under pressure. I'm going to sit down now...................Ask me anything......

[GM Fosters]

I'll do my best! Tell me about some of our best players.

Let me know how the search  for a wench to answer the phone goes too!

[GM Lucas]

"How about you do me a favor young lad, i'll send in a few wenches and you decide who you like. Do that for me (Takes a sip) and consider myself owing you a bounty. AY, our best players (chuckles and then stares at GM Fosters, his facial expression changes as he realizes the sad fact that Panana has only one good player left) Our best players were traded away by the last wench. We have a lad by the name of Erick Victor who is as solid as they come. Don't ask me for stats because I forgot my passwords to the spreadsheets. So when you hire someone, we'll reset all of it. Now, keep your ear on the conch and listen, we once had a lad by the name of Jared Anderson, the last bloke who GM's this ship drafted him and let him go overseas, he's decided to come back to WBS. Maybe with the proper nudge he wouldn't mind coming giving Panama a second chance. Now, I'm going to go laydown. expect your first interview shortly"

(Jaxx Stumbles out the office down the hall into his own office and slams the door)

[GM Lucas]

"YO YO YOOOOOO, It's your boy Roddy The Body Candiotti and my agent tells me he was called about a job opening here and some dude by the name of GM Fosters was interviewing, is that you, if it is, you don't need to interview anyone else because The Body is here to PART-TY in the RAH RAH capital of the world, Panama CI-TY! and it's your boy here looking PRET-TY!. So what's the dily YO I got's this job or what?"

[GM Fosters]

Hi there fella, I don't think you're exactly what we're looking for, but thank you for giving us your time anyway.

[GM Lucas]

"Yo man, I can do this, I used to play that NBA 2k game before the NBA went under, come on man, stop wasting time. (Roddy looks around and realizes GM Fosters is serious) Well, then call me an uber because your boy is broke! This is foul, I swear to hizzle. You missing out man. What-eva, call me an uber please and can you spot me 20 bucks."

[GM Fosters]

You know what? I do, here just take it and have a nice day.

[GM Fosters]

Now what did I do with that team sheet? Must be around here somewhere

[GM Lucas]

(Young woman walks in and see's GM Foster searching for something)

" Excuse me sir, is that what you are looking for"

(She points to a folder sitting on the seat near the desk)

"Oh high, I'm Britany Banner, a friend of mine told me a friend of hers just quit this job, figured I'd give it a shot. They said you may need a secretary of sorts. If it helps, I was Legal Aid for Bruce, Ferigno and Bixby Attorney of Law. Sooo, need help?"

[GM Fosters]

Yes, Yes, YES! Brilliant thank you Britany. Bonza!

I'm Bruce Fosters pleased to meet you. Crikey you've got a stiff hand shake, not come across a grip like that since I was dicking around with a few of my cousins out by croc creek and one of the bastards snuck up on me!

Anyhoo your help would be greatly appreciated.

Take a seat- I'm meant to be hiring some coaching staff but I fear that a lot of the good ones will have gone

[GM Lucas]

"Ok, settle down, look. I'm not a huge WBS fan but my cousin Bruce is, hay, you are Bruce, my Cousin is Bruce, funny coincidence..."

(She smiles and stays looking at fosters and realizes he's in sort of a rush to get things moving. She snaps out of it and gets back to work)

"Sorry about that, where were we...Oh yes, hold on let me text him........"

Hey Cuz, need favor, i know you pay attention to WBS hardcore. You will never guess who I am working for, it's crazy...anyway, my boss wants to know who would be a great coach in Panama

Hey Cuz, what are you talking about, who do you work for

Bruce, not now, I'll tell you all about it later, name me a super talented coach

I mean, there are so many available, I mean, ok let me think

No time for thinking dude, come on, you gonna mess this up for me

I mean, what type of team does he want to run. If he wants defense, he can look at James Warhawk, if he wants offense, maybe look at Simon Hicks

Thanks dude

"Ok, Here"

(She shows GM Fosters her phone)

[GM Lucas]

"Ok, settle down, look. I'm not a huge WBS fan but my cousin Bruce is, hay, you are Bruce, my Cousin is Bruce, funny coincidence..."

(She smiles and stays looking at fosters and realizes he's in sort of a rush to get things moving. She snaps out of it and gets back to work)

"Sorry about that, where were we...Oh yes, hold on let me text him........"

Hey Cuz, need favor, i know you pay attention to WBS hardcore. You will never guess who I am working for, it's crazy...anyway, my boss wants to know who would be a great coach in Panama

Hey Cuz, what are you talking about, who do you work for

Bruce, not now, I'll tell you all about it later, name me a super talented coach

I mean, there are so many available, I mean, ok let me think

No time for thinking dude, come on, you gonna mess this up for me

I mean, what type of team does he want to run. If he wants defense, he can look at James Warhawk, if he wants offense, maybe look at Simon Hicks

Thanks dude

"Ok, Here"

(She shows GM Fosters her phone)

[GM Fosters]

Britany can you get me Simon Hicks on the phone please?

Big thanks to you and other Bruce too!

————

Simon Hicks! Hello. Bruce Fosters of the Panama City Breakers. Wondering if you would be interested in the head coach position we have available here. Could you tell me a bit about your coaching style and your philosophy? And why you think you may be a good fit here?

[GM Lucas]

"Good evening my good sir, I received a call that you are interest in my coaching services. Well, where do I begin. Let's start at offense. I teach offense. I live and breathe offense and what's makes me so good at it is that I can build an offense to make any skill set, any level of player do well in it. I'm pretty amazing at it when I think about it, but I don't want to sound to vein, but it's pretty hard not to do when you can do what I can do. I don't know what Seattle is going to do without me. There's a reason they were the top 4 scoring team in the league. Anway, enough about me. What exactly do you want from your team here in Panama. Last I checked you still have Victor, I'm assuming you protected Pabcevic and you have Ryan Williams and Summerall who worked with Patrick O'Reily. I say you are head of the game my good sir. But that won't cut it. I'll need to hire a defensive minded coach because I don't do defense. I would hire a scout, someone who see's what we have, hears what we need and goes and finds it. The last piece would be up to you, you can let me bring in a player developer or game strategist. Fill the contract for 3 years at 6 Million a year, and my full name is Simon S. Hicks"

[GM Fosters]

Welcome Head Coach Simon Hicks! We'll be happy to sign that contract.

Have anyone in mind that's a strong defensively minded coach you've wanted to work with or that you've worked with before?

[GM Lucas]

"I get an uneasy feeling you are going to ask me if I know someone at every skill level, so to not be bored with the same question and make this a less laborious task, I'll answer them all for you. I would like to bring in Stephen Crider, He'll bring defensive intensity to match my offensive intensity. a scout, I like AJ Stetson, he worked in Panama and he was the one who found Kurt Berry and Erik Victor, I think he can work great here, he is purely a scout and hats fine by me. I Prefer if you are going to go with a game manager and someone who game plans, go with Tim Dewitt, he's creative. If you are going go with player development go with Jerry Thomas, she a numbers type of statistical savant, graduate MIT and for some odd reason decided she would put her love of numbers and data to use coaching women's basketball, She was the coach in Ohio state that won the champions with Jenny James"

[GM Fosters]

I wasn't going to, but as you've made the suggestions now, and they do look like lovely suggestions... let's go with that!

How much would it set us back to hire those guys?

Stephen Crider, AJ Stetson, and Jerry Thomas?

[GM Lucas]

Crider will cost a one million and a half and only sign a one year deal The other two will join us for two to three years for five hundred thousand which in my professional opinion, as good of a deal as you will get. Not do me a favor, don't forget to send it in and most importantly, don't forget to send in my contract. Mess that up and we'll have to renegotiate my deal "

[GM Fosters]

Panama City Breakers sign Simon S Hicks as Head Coach on a salary of 6MM a year for 3 years.

[GM Fosters]

There! Sent to the LO for your contract. I see we've got a coach Cornell on our staff already- what sort of coach is he?

[GM Fosters]

The Panama City Breakers sign the following coaching staff:

Defence Coach: Stephen Crider, 1.5MM for 1 year
Scout: AJ Stetson, 0.5MM a year, for 2 years.
Player Development: Jerry Thomas, 0.5MM a year, for 2 years.

[GM Fosters]

Sending this to the LO now... lubbly jubbly

[GM Fosters]

Britany can you get me Pabcevic's agent on the line about hammering out a contract for him?

[GM Lucas]

"So you vant to talk business, yes? ok vhen talk. My client, Mr. Pabcevic vants to hear virst offah"

[GM Fosters]

How does 14MM a year for 3 years sound?

[GM Lucas]

"Zounds like you have, ze deal"

[GM Fosters]

Lovely, pleasure doing business with you... HOOROOO

—————

Coach Hicks- I've signed Pabcevic. What's our biggest need in the draft? We've got the 1st and 2nd overall pick so we can pick up two absolute studs hopefully